Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
