Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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