Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
