Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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