oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
