she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
