when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
