how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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