Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
