ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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