I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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