i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
