After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
