I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
