Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
