i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
