Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.