Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I think I just saw someone hide a body.

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  (917): I think I just saw someone hide a body. http://tfl.nu/2aay
  Replies (13) Good night (1770) Bad night (2901)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat

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  (813): just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat http://tfl.nu/dslu
  Replies (36) Good night (738) Bad night (4822)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.

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  (504): standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules. http://tfl.nu/xkjo
  Replies (46) Good night (4590) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (+82): View more from South Korea

  You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.

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  (+82): You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes. http://tfl.nu/6vdw
  Replies (7) Good night (5602) Bad night (1279)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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  (919): It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis. http://tfl.nu/c5pc
  Replies (9) Good night (1387) Bad night (3517)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.

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  (254): It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway. http://tfl.nu/k2oc
  Replies (8) Good night (1302) Bad night (3253)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i just like, need to vent to someone

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?

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  (910): i just like, need to vent to someone (919): Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you? http://tfl.nu/t3kk
  Replies (14) Good night (2849) Bad night (2030)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in

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  (864): I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in http://tfl.nu/mz6f
  Replies (3) Good night (1222) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs

  (602): View more from Arizona

  My work here is done

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  (520): I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs (602): My work here is done http://tfl.nu/ashb
  Replies (2) Good night (923) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.

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  (479): Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day. http://tfl.nu/u3e4
  Replies (4) Good night (1416) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.

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  (828): She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle. http://tfl.nu/0ke0
  Replies (3) Good night (385) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover

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  (602): Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover http://tfl.nu/gmcv
  Replies (0) Good night (418) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.

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  (269): Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/jcgm
  Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.

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  (715): Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands. http://tfl.nu/vpbs
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.

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  (478): Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town. http://tfl.nu/kget
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (143)

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