Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  dollar beers will do that to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning. (1-630): dollar beers will do that to you. http://tfl.nu/e57v
  Replies (26) Good night (2674) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me http://tfl.nu/jfl6
  Replies (65) Good night (2132) Bad night (12487)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five. http://tfl.nu/kcej
  Replies (22) Good night (4571) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now. http://tfl.nu/t4cx
  Replies (22) Good night (807) Bad night (5919)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am http://tfl.nu/tj8n
  Replies (15) Good night (1641) Bad night (3201)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one... http://tfl.nu/z7kq
  Replies (13) Good night (5936) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs http://tfl.nu/ace8
  Replies (3) Good night (1152) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out. http://tfl.nu/ipe4
  Replies (6) Good night (1499) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone http://tfl.nu/g67v
  Replies (8) Good night (2566) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy.... http://tfl.nu/l8ba
  Replies (8) Good night (1869) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Strong work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair (501): Strong work http://tfl.nu/wibt
  Replies (1) Good night (1489) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college http://tfl.nu/6ip8
  Replies (5) Good night (493) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him... http://tfl.nu/hlup
  Replies (9) Good night (1291) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here http://tfl.nu/yns8
  Replies (4) Good night (385) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped. http://tfl.nu/yje2
  Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (889)

Randomize