Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

You drink too much

(1-561): View more from Florida

No, I drink just the right amount - too often.

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(561): You drink too much (1-561): No, I drink just the right amount - too often. http://tfl.nu/1oor

Replies (2) Good night (2845) Bad night (536)
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(847): View more from Illinois

So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.

(541): View more from Oregon

Together?

(847): View more from Illinois

Preferably.

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(847): So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch. (541): Together? (847): Preferably. http://tfl.nu/lik5

Replies (21) Good night (3280) Bad night (529)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night

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(773): Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night http://tfl.nu/fbj4

Replies (18) Good night (1055) Bad night (4008)
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(708): View more from Illinois

We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now

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(708): We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now http://tfl.nu/mm02

Replies (21) Good night (7026) Bad night (917)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.

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(763): My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries. http://tfl.nu/9ep5

Replies (8) Good night (4753) Bad night (1229)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.

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(321): as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels. http://tfl.nu/o5u7

Replies (5) Good night (3762) Bad night (699)
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(224): View more from Illinois

I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".

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(224): I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!". http://tfl.nu/pw3u

Replies (8) Good night (3188) Bad night (693)
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(914): View more from New York

Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?

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(914): Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun? http://tfl.nu/1gt4

Replies (10) Good night (2239) Bad night (400)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?

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(780): Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off? http://tfl.nu/9svp

Replies (3) Good night (1221) Bad night (934)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.

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(651): I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen. http://tfl.nu/ant7

Replies (9) Good night (2406) Bad night (503)
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(613): View more from Ontario

It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'

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(613): It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed' http://tfl.nu/zbjr

Replies (2) Good night (1430) Bad night (346)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?

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(734): Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night? http://tfl.nu/9xzb

Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (352)
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(626): View more from California

I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?

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(626): I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/9qof

Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (242)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.

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(410): Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/bzly

Replies (9) Good night (1198) Bad night (233)
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(503): View more from Oregon

In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.

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(503): In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win. http://tfl.nu/mc4e

Replies (11) Good night (556) Bad night (285)

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