i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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