Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
