And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
