dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
and she was petting her beer can
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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