I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
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woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
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Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize