3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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