you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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