i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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