you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
