yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
