It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
