There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
