With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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