she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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