I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
