She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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