She said her name was "party"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
