somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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