So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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