Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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