I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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