Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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