I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.