I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.