don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize