just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar