1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize