He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
