omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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