Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
