Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
