her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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