i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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