3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
