just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
