I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize