I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
