Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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