his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize