So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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