Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
