I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
