so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i love accidental penises.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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