as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
