Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
