Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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