What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
how drunk are you?
Several
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
