At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize