I hate all girls vehemently.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
