CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
