My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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