I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
