When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
